Writing on my forums I came across a beautiful post from a mum which made me stop and think.
For a moment I was transported into a 5 year old's world, and this transition showed me that no matter how much I may be suffering there is always someone somewhere worse off than me and when that person is a child I can't help but feel cross with myself for wallowing in my own sadness.

Have a quick peek at these remarkable children.

I have a something touchy feely and pink to pop in the post for Niamh. Maybe you'd like to treat a littl'un somewhere or just pass on the web address.

http://www.postpals.co.uk/pals/Niamh+W

Thank you x

Dear Enrico,

Happy Valentine's Day, even if a very strange one for us.
In fact today marks the finalisation of our divorce at Canterbury Court from where I have just returned.

When the court order comes through the post you will go ballistic and probably call me lots of names and try to turn the children against me however I think if you stop to think for just one moment coherently you can only agree with the judges decision.

You must have realised once your relationship with Sabrina had become strong enough to warrant the break up of ours, that divorce was on the cards. You wanted it more than me. You also have known all along that divorce costs money and is never cheap. Now you have the proof.

The first hearing was in January last year(06) and including today's there have been 5 in total, Out of these five you have only been present once, all of the other times preferring to totally ignore all of the court's letters and the communications from my solicitor. For a person with such an accute business acumen you surprised me.

It soon became blatently obvious to the courts and me that you didn't want to give me anything at all and I'm afraid I couldn't accept this proposal from you. You told the courts you were up to your neck in debt and then took your girlfriend and the children on a holiday to Mexico AND treated yourself to a brand new Mercedes 4x4. That's not skint.

I apologise in advance for doing this to you but I had to. I have spent the best part of 18 years at your side and when I left I left with nothing. I have nothing to show for all my hard work put into the family business, the house and our family. I'm sorry you don't see eye to eye on this.

The judge has ordered a fairly substantial lump sum to be paid to me but he is also very aware that is not close to half of what I could have asked for had I been so inclined. I suppose I'm trying to tell you you've been extremely lucky, it could have been a lot worse.

So Enrico, today I wish you all the best. I hope the decision you made to end us was the right one or else all of this would have been in vain. On one hand I wished I'd never met you, never had our children as that would have saved so much heartbreak and pain on the other I have learnt immensley from all of this and can now look forward to a new life with my partner of joy, trust and love. I hope you find these qualities too.

Mari

Early January saw me taking a couple of days off sick thanks to my annual bout of flu. Stuck at home I mooched around bored and looked out of the window on our quiet cul de sac where nothing ever happens.

Number 59 caught my eye. The door was wide open! In this freezing cold?
I watched this house for quite some time and the door never shut.
'Had they left in a hurry and forgotten to shut it?'
'What should I do? They might be burgled. Should I go and shut the door?'

I did nothing, but continued my watch throughout the day at regular intervals. I even spoke to my partner about it and we came to the joint conclusion that to do nothing was the best plan of action. Dusk came and the door was still open.
It was shut at nightfall.

The next day exactly the same thing happened, around about 8.30 - 9 o'clock, the door would open and stay open all day till nightfall.
'What must their heating bill be like?' I questioned dearly beloved.
'Not our problem babe.' came the wise reply.

I went back to work but coming home in the evening I could see the door was open and instictively knew it had been open all day. This intuition was confirmed on the weekend watch.
A habit was formed of checking on no. 59's front door.
Why?
Maybe they have a dead body in there and the smell is over powering? Should I call the police?
Maybe it's a mental illness and they think it's summer? - Should I call the social services?

Every day since the door has been wide open all day - EVEN with the torrential rains last week AND yesterday's snow storm.

Very strange, can you help solve the mystery at hand?

Why aren't you talking to me i know about the baby and i miss you both i have trouble walking let alone driving

Received today at 13.35

I haven't replied yet, I don't think I have the strength just yet, I know I must be nice to him, and it's not the right moment just yet.

This is what I want to tell him..that I'm totally peed off he let us down on Christmas Day - again. That somehow I knew he wouldn't have come beforehand and so his call on Xmas day just acted as a confirmation of my thoughts.
I'm so angry with him for texting my brother that he never wanted to see him or his family again. Us kids have learnt to stick together and look out for each other so it was if I had been sent that text. I know he was probably drunk at the time but I can't forgive him for it.
I'm sick of his lies which he still wants me to believe, even when we speak (which we will) it will all be lies.

I could be very nasty and that's why I'm waiting before I speak to him. He's still my dad and I love him for all his faults and failures.
If it was any other person in my life, I would ignore the text completely and get on with my life, or call up and have a shouting match but it's dad and I don't want to do that.
I shall speak to my brothers and call him tomorrow after my scan where hopefully I will get the confirmation that this miscarriage is complete and I can move on to the next chapter in my life.
I'd like the old Denis back. He was lovely and I was proud of him

Dear Sabrina,

In April it will be 3 and a half years since I found out you were having an affair with my husband. I discovered your secret ménage in August 03 but for Enrico to take the decision to not to return home any more it must have been going on for a very long time indeed. I’d hazard a guess at a year.

During that year you worked for us at our family run hotel www.clubhotelalpino.it working as a barmaid in our wine bar and therefore in close contact with Enrico every day until the early hours of the morning, drinking, laughing and having fun with him. You had all the time in the world to get to know him and me and our two children Thomas and Megan.

You put up a façade during that year because many a time we sat at the bar and spoke of this and that, I would ask if you’d eaten and tell you to go and eat something in the kitchen worried that you couldn’t survive a long shift on a sandwich. Silly me you actually had an appointment to go to dinner with my husband later that evening.

You shared your secret with many of our staff and although I didn’t know why at the time I could feel their scorn and their sniggers behind my back. Your friend Katia took a particularly nasty photo of me showing how much weight I’d put on that summer and I caught her showing it to my husband with such glee in her eyes. Funny how you dropped Katia the minute you got together with Enrico?

I’m sure Enrico laid his case to you extremely well with military precision leaving no doubt in your eyes that our flagging relationship was finished, how he was so over me and ready for something new. Trouble is he never told me. I waited four nights for him to come home. Four days he wouldn’t answer my calls, he hid from me when I came down to the hotel. After an 18 year relationship I had to go and find out for myself. Enrico was never a courageous man.

The minute I realised what had happened, so many things fell into place. That was why he hadn’t wanted to share a bed with me on our camper holiday to Puglia in June, he had said it was too hot but the truth is he couldn’t bear to be near me. That was why he had gone on a ski trip in January on his own, it wasn’t to source out other hotels, it was to be with you. I can remember him calling me from the hotel and raving about the wonderful food and asking after the children. What a poor, sly man.

All of my closest friends couldn’t understand why I had it in for you so badly. Leave her! They told me. She’s done nothing. It’s him you should be angry with.

Trouble is, it wasn’t the first time he’d betrayed me, I had tried to leave him so many times unsuccessfully returning for the benefit of the children, the family or because foolishly I believed him when he said I was the only woman for him and we could make this work.

You see, you never stopped to think for a minute that I loved him and I cherished our family. All you could think of was yourself and what you wanted. You broke my family and destroyed everything I held dear without a care in the world. I wonder if your mother knows the truth or has she also had the watered down version you tried to pass off on my children? If she is a woman worth her salt she would be ashamed of you as I would be if Megan ever does anything similar to another family.

When I heard you were all going to Mexico last October it made my blood boil. Did you know we were supposed to go there for our belated honeymoon? In 1997, I ran up those steps to our front door (now yours) with the flight tickets in my hand. It was to be our first BIG holiday without the children as we’d never had a honeymoon. I had a 21 day itinerary going from Citta del Mexico to Merida which I had spent weeks perfecting. I bet he didn’t tell you that. He cancelled it, said he wasn’t interested in Mexico and used his ill mother as an excuse to blow the whole lot saying we couldn’t get babysitters.

I miss my children so much it kills me. I think of you in our house, cooking in my kitchen, using my washing machine, sitting on my sofa and watching our TV, it makes me so bitter. I think of my children needing help with their homework that you don’t give, the telling off they need when they’re in front of the TV too much or out too late at night, this you don’t do. I think of the cuddling they crave and the listening they need so much in this delicate moment of their lives and know you don’t do this either. What do you do for them? Enrico has always sadly lacked in this department too so my kids are the ones to suffer all of this at the end of the day.

It took me some time but I made a new life for myself, I had too. My choice was to stay in Folgaria and watch you step into my shoes or leave and start afresh. Well I did leave, I came home to England and I found someone who makes Enrico look a very sorry effort of a man in comparison. I’m happy and finally fulfilled with a true relationship based on honesty, trust and true love.

I’m sorry to say I don’t think you’ll ever be happy with Enrico as he is so selfish. He will never have time for you like he never had for us and he will always come first in his life. He has proven the extent of his dishonesty to you, shown you how callous he is and you have glimpsed just how nasty he can be. Not exactly the nicest qualities for a man to have, be warned.

In 2003, when I found out, I wanted to kill you. Now it’s 2007 and I don’t care about you anymore. On the 14th of February, Valentines Day, we have our final hearing here in England and our marriage will be quantified and shared out. The End. For you it will signify a beginning, I believe in what comes around goes around and how in every choice we make we must accept the consequences of that choice. I’m interested to see just what yours will be?

Marianne