Denis has been mentioned a few times in this blog and many will know he's my Dad, you will also know he is an alcoholic and our relationship is a very fraught one.
Last time I mentioned him was back in November when I invited him to spend Christmas with us. It would have been the perfect opportunity for him to have a Christmas with his three kids and partners and his four grandchildren.

I invited him the first time around the 14th Nov, he was over the moon and I thought a little slurry but I left it at that pleased that he had accepted and was so obviously happy about it.

When I called back a week later to say both brothers had also said they could make it he asked
'Am I coming too?'
I repeated the invite and he excused himself saying it must be Alzeimers.
I called back at the beginning of December and again he couldn't remember the invite and I replied shortly
'I've already invited you twice Dad!'
I didn't take a lot of notice of his reply as I was already getting fed up by this point. I spoke to my brothers and warned them that I wouldn't be calling him to invite him yet again.

Needless to say we got a phone call on Christmas morning to say he didn't think he was going to make it as his feet were playing him up. (His feet do swell up and he struggles to walk without a stick but we are all convinced it is when he drinks)

We got on and had a really good day and the day after the brothers left for other family arrangements as is the norm in most families I believe. So Dad missed out on the umpteenth Christmas with us and being so used to his lacksidaisical manner, no one was particularly surprised about it although all in our own way disappointed that at 60+ he still hasn't learnt his lesson or can be like other Dads.
On the 27th Christmas, my brother forwarded me a text he had received from Dad at 5.30am saying
'Seeing as you can't be bothered to pass through the door on Boxing Day I don't ever want to see you or your family again'
The text was longer but the drift was that. (Oh, and my brother was due to visit his wife's family having dedicated Christmas day to his own family)
My brother was very upset but also angry, he'd bailed Dad out earlier in the year to the tune of £1500 when he could ill afford it as he has a family himself. He'd also accompanied him on many occasions to the doctors, Alcohol Anonymous and other organisations attempting to help him recover from this terrible disease.
But as anyone who deals with an alcoholic knows, you can't do anything for them. The final decision to right something HAS to come from them.
I have been very angry since Christmas and can't bring myself to call him. I feel as if I should but I know he will tell me another pack of lies and I won't have the courage to tell him I know he's lying to me. It breaks my heart every time.

Today is Denis's 63rd birthday, I didn't send a card and I haven't yet called him. I do feel guilty about it. I worry he's going to die and we haven't spoken (he's had a few near misses over the past few years - all drink related)
My younger brother has been to see him over the past weekends. He's not a happy man and I don't think he ever will be. But we really must do something about it soon.