Funniest thing happened today on my way to work that hasn't happened since I was a kid.
I got off my commuter coach at the Embankment as usual and as it was a lovely day, bit blowy but nice I decided to walk rather than get the tube to Oxford Circus.
Anyway, walking a long I felt that my knickers were sliding down my backside! Well I could hardly stop in the middle of Leicester Square put my hand in my trousers and yank them up so i carried on walking all the way to the office where I nipped into the first loo I came across and sorted myself out!
1. thank the Lord I was wearing trousers today else it could have been a lot worse
2. They are from M&S and I only bought them a while ago.
3. they are girl boxer style so hardly flimsy.
4. Have worn them on a few occasions and have never yet experienced this with them before.
5. I haven't lost an awful amount of weight since I last wore them
6. am not walking differently to usual

Will be going out on lunch break to see if there is a repeat performance - will keep you posted.

Of course if it does happen again shall I take them back? Obviously they will be washed but what do I say to the sales person?
These knickers don't stay up any more, can I have a new pair please?
mmmmm?

God this day just doesn't seem to want to finish, mind I spose it's not so good to wish your life away so quickly it's just I'm dead bored in the office today and can't concentrate on anything.
I did do the Euro Lottery £75,000,000 coming my way guys! Mind, I did split the costs with my colleague, we have two lucky dips each but I have the ticket in my purse. He only has a photo copy...
So, would I secretly leave the country if I won...or would I be an honest angel and give him his half.
I'd give him his half and this is how I'm going to spend the rest.
37,500,000
Let's start with making a nice round figure and stick the 7 and a half in a high interest account maybe in Switzerland?
OK sort Dad out seeing as I was so hard on him yesterday 1,000,000
My nan has just lost her soul mate and is very depressed let's give her a million to spend
Both of my brothers I adore and I'm sure a million each would go down a treat.
My kids, come back to them as I've got plans here.
Mum and her hubby - a million
25,000,000 - stacks left (what the hell is Heather Mills complaining about???)
Buy each of the kids a beautiful place to live in Folgaria, stick a couple of million each in an account that they can't touch till date to be confirmed.
Let them have x amount (how much?) don't want them getting spoilt or going off the rails etc.
Take them on holidays, New York, Grand Canyon, ayers Rock, etc.
Buy a house for me and my lovely man with all mod cons. And a holiday home, a studio in New York.
Give loved one a fair chunk to satisfy his car passion. A Jag, and anything he sees on Fifth Gear/Top Gear that takes his fancy
I'm going shopping.
The list is endless and I've still got stacks
But hey - if I win I promise to keep writing my blog and tell you all how I spent it.
Now isn't that very righteous of me?

My dad treated my mum like you know what when they were together. He was a good looking fella in his youth and had plenty of offers from lonely women all of which he took. Their marriage broke down when I was 11 and he left our home forever.
Mum managed, she kept down two jobs to pay off the mortgage where she had to give my dad half. And we didn't go without. She did us good.
Dad turned into an alcoholic, wrong, he already was but his problem spiralled out of control. We saw him every other weekend and every other Christmas and so on like so many of us from that generation.
Dad met another woman, nice we liked her. They married, she got him off the booze until he was a teetotal and were very happy until she passed away very unexpectedly in 1989.
Dad left for USA and blew everything he had on some oil business over there and returned to the UK years later adn slept in B&B's around London.
He found a flat to live in and since then has never worked since.
My dad is a liar and that is what gets me most. Even the phone call we've just had is a whole pack of lies adn I don't like the person he has become.
This makes me feel incredibly guilty as I should love my own dad, but after a fake cancer scare at the beginning of the year, his depression when I lost MY baby, two trips into hospital where he nearly lost his life I'm running out of steam for him.
It's true I have to force myself to go and see him and dread it. HIs house stinks of fags and booze, it's dirty where it hasn't been cleaned since God only knows when and it's run down.
Sometimes he calls and talks s**t, other times he can't remember calling. Sometimes my brothers arrange to go and see him and he'll blow them out telling them not to come as he's got a cold.
I feel very sorry for him, I pity him but honestly he's getting on my nerves. I want him to start doing something for himself.
His housing association have told him they'll be knocking down his flats in 2 yrs time, he'll be moved out and he's been given options of where - Brighton, Eastbourne etc
All he's thinking is how much money he can get out of them because he's being uprooted!
It drives me insane that my father is one of the bloodsuckers of society.
Sorry for the rant but had to get it off my chest

Hi all,
I haven't posted for a few days now basically cos I was visited by the Old Bag (menstruation) and got very depressed about the whole thing.
I did drink far too much on Saturday night when we had friends over for dinner and I think this was partly wanting to forget the whole business and partly because the older I get the more I can't handle my booze. Scary. It now takes me two days to recover.
What makes it worse, is not the odd glass of wine more than ususal but the limoncello or whisky that I drink after the meal.
Apart from the extra calories it does no good to your reproductive organs so i have decided to cut down as of now setting a limit of two untis a week (ie Friday night 1 glass of wine and Sat night another)
A very good friend of mine is pregnant and I am very happy for her. She has suffered two miscarriages over the past year and naturally is extremely worried about her scan on Friday. I pray it all goes well for her this time.
Of course, I want to have a bump with her and the more I think about it, the more obsessed I become and in theory the harder it is to get pregnant.
I haven't stopped running over the fact that I should be 7 and half months now. Watching GMTV in the morning is a constant reminder as the woman who does the weather is as far gone as I would have been. she ahs a lovely bump and is positively blooming and that's what I should be.
I wonder to myself if it will ever happen again and as my 'due date' comes closer and closer (28 nov) I get more and more anxious.
Once that date has passed maybe I'll be a bit better.
I have armed myself with a digital ovulation kit that supposedly will inform me when I am ovulating and therefore tell me when it will be more likely to fertilise the egg and I have bought a book by Zita West - Getting Pregnant. which gives a lot of useful hints about how to watch your body throughout the cycle.
One positive thought (because otherwise I'm going to break down) is if I managed to get pregnant before chances are I can again this time.
fingers crossed x

Up and down like a yo yo. Heard that expression? Well that's what I am.
I think it's the wanting so much that is making me silly with anxiety.
During my lunch break I popped into Boots to get a home pregnancy test which hopefully i'll try out this weekend. haven't really been feeling that sick today, only a little bit - not so violent and also not so tired.
so maybe it won't be this month.
I realise for many reading this blog you couldn't possibly understand what wanting a baby so desparately is all about and maybe you can't understand all my fuss.
anyway only a few more days to go and then we'll know for sure. IF it's negative - at least you'll be prepared for next month's rocky ride towards my goal!!!

6 days to go until testing. MONDAY I've decided 6 as then I would be at least 1 whole day late and that makes sense to me. Wonder if I'll be able to wait that long though :-)))
I have found another web site www.twoweekwait.com for all the girls like me crossing their fingers and hoping they're pregnant too.
Lots of pg symptons to go through. The only thing that's convincing me is a continuous nausea lasting from the moment I wake up, normally this would cheese me off no end but I'm actually more worried if it disappears!
BUT, is it my imagination playing on me. Can we make ourselves feel things when we want to? I must admit I do believe in the positive thinking thing for people to recover from illness; including cancer, so I suppose I could make myself believe I'm pg and therefore feel nauseous.
Are you beginning to get a feel for the 2 week wait adn how it's a constant? lol

Bang in the middle now of the dreaded 2 week wait. the 14 days that pass between ovulation and Aunty Flo (AF) showing up.
Yesterday I felt incredibly nauseous but could that be thanks to the alcohol I drank on Saturday? I am also feeling dog tired but could that be thatnks to the oncoming autumn?
I think the worse thing is my head that is convinced it's happened this month and there is nothing I can say or do to change it's mind. It's like talking to a brick wall.
I sahn't be slitting my wrists if AF does come along but I'll be really down about it. When I lost my baby back in July I was 21 weeks gone which is half way I helped myself come to reason with a random thought 'You'll be pregnant by Xmas' don't know where it came from but it helped me along the raod to recovery.
Now, of course, I'm full of doubts and constantly thinking about IT.
Oh well a week today I'll be able to do a test and put my mind at rest.
What a palaver!

Yes tomorrow I have a Final hearing at Canterbury Court to sort out the financial separation form my ex husband in Italy in the morning followed by a Funeral in the afternoon.
What a day! Do you think there is any coincidental connection between the two? Two endings I suppose.
It really is quite sad when you think you've passed 18 years with someone, had two children together and now what has it boiled down to? A court hearing where a judge will decide how much of the 'estate' is mine. We haven't spoken now since March when my son was 18 and for his sake we were polite. He obviously doesn't want to give me anything so I hope tomorrow fairs well. I don't want to crucify him but would like something to show for all the years I put in and to fall back on in my old age.
The funeral on the other hand is my nan's partner Eric who died at the ripe old age of 89 after months of suffering, They've kept each other company now for about 15 years since they lost their respective partners and she's missing him terribly. He became an important part of our family sharing worries and joys, a very upright man. Stuff of the olden days. He will be missed by all.

I did check out the internet cafe in Folgaria but it was shut on Sunday and Monday, so I'll have to catch up now.
Travelling by plane from the UK now is a nightmare, if you go with a low cost airline like I did you have to pay £7.00 for the luxury of checking in your bag. (ps. That's per bag each way.) So seeing as when I had booked I hadn't opted for this, thinking I'd buy my toiletries in duty free (works out more expensive in the end) I paid £14 at Stansted for this service. grrr
I had booked a hire car at the other end online to make my few days there easier as we're up in the mountains. Thinking I was sorted the chap at the Hertz desk informed me I wasn't covered fully comp and needed to fork out another 12 euros a day. If I didn't pay this and had a small scratch or worse I'd be liable for the first 850 eiros. I wasn't going to tempt fate. So another 36 euros forked out.
I had bought my daughter a lovely digital camera in the duty free for her birthday present as she had mentioned in a phone call and was chuffed to pieces with myself at being so generous with her. ON presenting it to her, she said her dad had got her one (not as nice as mine I hasten to add) So that's got to back to Dixons. she then took me off to her favourite shop and I was done like a kipper as she walked out in a pair of trainers worth 89 euros.
So add on petrol, lunches and dinners and a specialist visit costing 120 euros it worked out a very expensive weekend.
And the next one's due in November - can't wait!
Will be back with more....

Yes you heard correctly.
Seeing as I shall be out of the country till Tuesday and this is the important 'ovulation window' needed to fertilise the egg.
Loved one is not to manually relieve himself in my absence as I shall need all of the blighters to catch the egg on my return!

Do you think that's a bit harsh?

I'm off to Italy tomorrow. I booked back in September along with a few other flights to go and see my two cherubs over there

Now I didn't pay to check in my luggage as I'll only be there a few days and don't need much. But they haven't shifted the rule on toiletries in hand luggage yet and it's causing me grief.

Things I'm not allowed to take in my hand luggage

• Liquid cosmetics - (solid are good - where's the logic in that?)
• All toiletries - why?
• All liquids
• All drinks - do you know they won't even let you bring back the plonk you purchase in the duty free??? Outrageous.
• Cigarette lighters - not fussed, I don't smoke
• No gels, pastes, lotions

So, I shan't be around until Tuesday, I might try to log in in Italia - we'll see.

Bringing your date back later? (you hope) Want to make a half decent impression?
Here's a few quick tips to get your space looking respectable fast.

Cut cleaning in half. Wash just the bottom part of a window. Forget the top, which is usually covered by a shade or a blind.

Blow it off. Use a hair dryer to speed-dust books, artwork, and figurines. Vacuum up whatever falls to the floor.

Vacuum selectively. Think high traffic: Run your machine in front of chairs, around the sides of the bed, and on the bottom or top two steps of the staircase (the steps that get dirtiest and the ones guests are most likely to see).

Try the paper-towel shuffle. Spritz spray cleaner on two paper towels, put them under your bare feet, and slide around to spot-clean a dirty area on your kitchen floor.

Beat dusty blinds in an instant. All you have to do is close them in reverse — and no one will know!

Make your microwave self-clean. Bring a cup of water to boil in the oven; the steam will loosen dried-on particles. Then just wipe away.

Dust your floors. Give floors a quick once-over with a wet towel before tossing the towel in the washer.
Make bed making easy. Freshen up your bed in a flash by replacing only the pillowcases.

Problem solved!

Ok for those of you who haven't yet approached the idea of trying to conceive a child this may seem a bit overwhelming. But a moment of reflection could be granted as YOU too started out once upon a time on this arduous journey.
Catching the egg isn't as easy as it seems.
You have to wait until ovulation.
How do you know? Your body sends out signs which you learn to spot. www.babycentre.co.uk
Then it's time to get down to the fun side of the whole process and business with your other half.
You have a 'window' of about 4/5 days but according to the 'Sperm meets Egg' plan (see sites I like) it's better to start from day 8 and work your way through with a daily 'go' till about day 15. www.robynsnest.com
So it can get quite exhausting to say the least, best to stock up on carbs.
There are certain theories of which position is better, for the female to lay with her legs up in the air after the deed is done or to simply lie in bed for half an hour why your partner prepares your dinner (my personal favourite)
Even if you do manage to catch the egg, it's not finished yet. You then have to pray that the egg is a sticky one and that as it catches the lining of the womb it then 'sticks' itself and burrows in.
Even at this point it's not quite certain as should the egg have any deformalities it will be rejected by the body and you will have to start the whole process all over again. Commonly known as miscarriage.
The fact that you have read this article goes to prove that you stuck.
Congratulations to AlisonCW who announced her BFP (Big Fat Pregnancy) today - may you have a boring 8 months ahead

This is the link to the email I received giving info on visit London's photo competition. Happy clicking!!!

http://www.traveldailynews.com/new.asp?newID=32831&subcategory_id=95

Visit London unveils international photographic competition for EIBTM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006

For the first time, Visit London is to run a photographic competition, ‘New look on London’, launched on its website and terminating at this year’s EIBTM. The competition is designed to showcase London and the products and services of its stand partners, all in a unique way. Visit London also hopes to increase visibility for their recently launched new business brand positioning that brings together inspiring visuals with a personal perspective.

Visit London is asking professionals in the meetings, incentives and events industry to literally look at London from a new perspective and identify some key London venues and landmarks from unique and unexpected views. A portfolio of striking images that represent London venues from an unusual angle will be first available on the Visit London website visitlondon/eibtmcompetition where EIBTM buyers and visitors can view the competition prior to the exhibition.

The competition will provide clues and a selection of visuals - the final clue they have to unlock will be on the Visit London stand at EIBTM. A full set of images will also be featured in print material created specially for the show.

The winner of the competition will be drawn at random from all those who correctly identify a set number of images. Their prize will be an all expenses paid week’s holiday with a partner to London and a personalised programme, including visits to the places and venues highlighted in the competition.

Barbara Jamison, Sales Manager Europe of Visit London commented: “This year we want our presence at EIBTM to work for us. We believe that London has the world’s most unique and unusual venues for the meetings and incentives industry and we have launched this competition to show just how inspiring the city can be. Most of our stand partners are participating and we hope we will be celebrating a winner who has successfully identified many of the images – of course our partners will be on hand at EIBTM at the Visit London stand to help with the clues!”

Michael Verikios - Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Ree Knee and I were at school together and lost contact as you do when we left. Funny how life is and you end up meeting again 15 years later.
You know it's make or break. Sometimes you've nothing to say to these people and other times you pick up where you left off.
That's what happened with Ree Knee and me in 1999 and now we try to catch up once every couple of months.

So we decided to meet near Victoria Station - Thistle Hotel, Chez Gerard after work on Monday.
Great! We ordered some wine (2 x glasses - large ones)
Chardonnay? Sancerre? Asked the pretty French waitress (love her accent)
ummmm, oh Sancerre (tried my best French) would be lovely thank you.

We ordered a 'plateau du fromage' between the pair of us (£9.25 - shocking)and talked our little socks off. Sardinia, new house, Charlie chops (now 18 months)

lost babies and...SKI! Yes we've decided to go skiing again together in Jan. Cheap flights and B&B in Folgaria Italy. Let's get Charlie chops on the snow.
http://www.montagnaconamore.it/index.aspx

If you're looking for a family resort where the skiing is good but not too demanding (100 kms) where the sun shines and the services are good this could be up your street.

Here's a shot of the snow bunnies last time round

Oh and one last thing, our bill came to £46.53 cheese and wine (4 glasses 2 lg + 2 sm) that'll teach me for trying my French! - next time it's Chardonnay)

Yesterday was a big day as we had to go to the consultant to find out the results of the postmortem of the baby girl lost back in July.
The lady doctor - Ms Singh, was very nice and explained that the baby had died of a lung infection and this was 'nature's way' of sorting the problem out.
She has given us the go ahead to try again (much to my partner's delight!) and so I'm back at square one trying to suss out my ovulation time in order to 'catch the egg'.
What for some is incredibly easy for others isn't so and many of you will be aware that as time marches on eggs become older and the process is much more drawn out. See Sperm meets Egg on my site bloglist.
Anyway we must be positive, last time it took 5 months, I'm hoping it will take less this time round.
I am still very angry with the NHS as I feel if they'd bothered to take any notice when I first went to see them this could have been avoided.
If nothing else, I know I'm capable of making a perfectly healthy baby.
I also found out yesterday that a very dear friend of mine who had two miscarriages this year is pregnant again and I'm very happy for her.
Looking forward I have signed up for a writing course as I hope to use it to earn some money when at home with a baby. I have sent off my first assignment and shall post the results here when I get them.

Even if it doesn't affect you directly it's worth spending a thought or two on this menace of society.
Women from all walks of life and all ages are affected including the rich and famous as Kylie Minogue showed recently and most of us know someone or of someone that has been affected.

Have a look at the following for more details
www.breakthrough.org.uk
www.breastcancercare.org.uk
www.breastcancercampaign.org

So there's a huge gap in my postings and some of my friend's were ready to strike me off their lists. Understandable really. So where was I?
Well some may remember I was pregnant last time I posted and very happy too. I celebrated my 40th with friends and family and my two cherubs came over from Italy for the occasion making it truly special.
It wasn't until a couple of weeks later that things started to go wrong and steadily progressed until on the 5th June we went along to A&E. I was told I was having a 'threatened miscarrige' I was kept in for checks and sent home a few days later. (I am keeping out the gory details on purpose). I was then off work 'sick' for about 6 weeks and told to bed rest.
It all came to a very sad end when I was at the 5 months mark on 17th July.
Since then I've been on the slow road back to normality. I have my appointment tomorrow with the consultant where hopefully they can throw some light onto how/why I lost our little girl and I can then move on to start a new chapter.